BANKING RULES IN MARRIAGE: NO DEPOSIT NO
WITHDRAWAL.
Whether you believe it or not,
whether you want to be a chauvinist on this matter; well, DO NOT EXPECT TO
WITHDRAW WHEN YOU DID NOT DEPOSIT.
It is only an insane person that
walks into any bank where you did not deposit and expect to make a withdrawal,
and someone might argue that it is possible in terms of using cheque….REMEMBER
THE CHEQUE MUST BE ISSUED TO U. LOL
1. Listen to her: It's more
important than sex, gifts and solving her problems. Listening helps a woman
feel loved and significant. Listening is distinctly different from hearing.
Listening is active involving eye contact and appropriate engagement. Communicate
back to your wife what you're hearing. Create a safe place, and please remember
you don't always have to fix her or her problems. Most of the time just
listening will provide her with solutions.
2. Talk to
her: Your wife wants to know what's going on inside of you. It sometimes takes
a lot of small talk to catch up and get to the point where the man can go a
little bit deeper. Life doesn't get solved during the course of a football time
out or halftime. Tell your wife how you're feeling. Be real. Be specific. Tell
her your fears. You don't always have to be the strong one. Share your
failures. Pride keeps us stuck. Break down the barriers of fear and shame. Be
courageous.
3. Study
her: Men are from Mars Women from Venus. You have to learn the language she
speaks, especially her love language. Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages can be
helpful.
4.
Encourage her: Your wife needs encouragement on a daily base. If she's a
stay-at-home mom let her know that you know she's not a "marshmallow"
brain. If she works out of the home, let her know that you appreciate her work
skills. Don't buy into the lie of the "super woman" who can do it
all; if she can do it all, then you are not needed. Be your wife's greatest
cheerleader.
5.
Prioritize her: Your wife needs to know that she's more important to you than
your job, hobby or any other pursuit including hunting, sports, the guys, etc.
Too many men have a tendency to drop the pursuit once the wedding is done. Look
at your schedule and see where you're spending your time. Where do your
passions lie? Do you consistently make your wife your priority after God?
6. Care
for her: Women are natural caregivers, but women need to be cared for in order
to enable them and to feel nurtured and complete. Ask her what you can do to
care for and nurture her. Help take care of the kids. Women love to see their
husbands take care of the kids as they are so close to the mom's heart. This
doesn't matter if its kids or grand kids.
7. Prepare
her: Go slow. Be tender in preparing her sexually. It may take all day for her
to get "ready." For the woman, it's not the end but the process of
"getting there." The hug in the kitchen and the call during the day,
the text messages and crazy pictures. Men are buttons but women are like
grinding machine, you must first prepare it before using. These add to the
sexual satisfaction for the woman.
8. Lead
her: Be the spiritual leader of the family. Too often it's the woman who does
the spiritual leading in the family. Women desire that men lead out in the
spiritual headship. This must be servant leadership, self-sacrificial
leadership. Don't leave it to the mom to lead out in spiritual upbringing of
your children. Once you have to remind her that you are the man, then u are NOT
the man. You have a biblical responsibility to lead.
9. Free
her: Women have a deep need to have deep relationships with other women. Make
every effort to recognize this need in your wives and give her the opportunity
to regularly meet with and fellowship with other women. This will help her be a
much more "whole" wife.
10. Date
her: Don't think this is the lowest priority item. Go out on a regular basis.
Just the two of you. Getting away from the house one-on-one is so important. Go
away with each other for one week each year. Hang out with each other. It's OK
to have crummy furniture and carpet if the money is spent in dating your wife
and taking just her with you some place every year to recharge; You definitely
need this because it keeps the flame burning.
Please be
aware that this is a generalization and not necessarily what your wife would
say are her top 10 needs. Please take some time to read this with her and ask her
to share what she might list.
FACT:
Treat her like a queen and she
will treat you like a king…Treat her like a game and she will show you how it is
played.
